OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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