Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
