Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
