why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
