The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
