$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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