last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
