Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
