True but thats because hes a fetus.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
