I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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