if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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