A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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