Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
