Please, let me fuck your mom
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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