Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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