i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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