watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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