Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
