i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
