Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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