i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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