This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
3 2 1 whiskey
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
