come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
