nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Farmville is her only friend.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
