we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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