i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
