i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
