Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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