I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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