I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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