Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
