Don't make out with my wife yet
someone owes me an orgasm
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
