im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
