My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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