by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
