omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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