All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
