did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
