dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
