Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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