she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
