I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
