There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
