Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
