Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
that is very illegal...i love you.
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