He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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