I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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