eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
