she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
