We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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