But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
