dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
