forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
