If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
