In the future we'll all be gay
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
