he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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