MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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