so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
