the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
